The What -
If you don't have one, put a check-in system in place. This is as much for the benefit of those you care about as it is for you. Create a check in Whatsapp, Facebook group, email trail, or whatever works for you. Then diarise regular times to check in with people.
Especially if like me, you care very much about the people in your life but aren't always so good at showing it. Many of us struggle to consistently show our appreciation and support to those in our lives, making it even more important to establish a structured method for keeping in touch. Don't presume people know you are there for them. Show them with regular check-ins.
The Why -
Do you have a habit of reading that text but forgetting to reply to it? Or thinking "It's been a while, I really should check in with them" - but then another week passes? Then put just a little time this week into making a check-in system. Whether it's a family Whatsapp Group chat or a Sunday night catch-up with friends, these regular interactions serve as a reminder that you are there for them. By showing that you care through the little gestures like sharing a gif or a thoughtful message, you strengthen your relationships and create a sense of connection.
Don't get caught up in making the group or worrying about who knows who and all that. Just make one or two group or chain connections of some kind to check in with all those you care about and make a point to check in regularly.
Also, don't expect others to feel they have to check in. You are just letting them know you are there if they need you. Even if all you do is share a funny gif once a week, it lets people know you are there and you care. It also helps in maintaining your relationships and keeping up with your social time. Even us introverts need a tinsy bit of social time!
Sounds good! Tell me more...
People with healthy, positive and supportive relationships are also more likely to be happier and healthier. Maintaining good connections through regular check-ins helps to improve mental health and some studies have found that regular positive connections can even extend your life! So you might be the one checking in with them, but trust me, it's good for you too.
If you would rather do in person check -ins - even better! There are many ways to do this. You could set up a regular dinner or schedule a walk with close friends. Or even spread your check-ins to the wider community by joining a local group or club. Checking in with neighbours regularly can also bring you peace of mind and maybe even some new friends.
It's so easy to get caught up in life and work and the long to do lists and forget to check in.
So adding it to your diary to do or making a group to include all of your nearest and dearest makes this way easier. That way your effort goes into the actual caring and not the 'remembering to do the thing that shows I care' type stuff. If you make a group for all your friends to check in, chances are a few of them won't know each other. But this isn't a bad thing at all if it potentially gives them even more connections.
Obviously use your judgement about the groups if you have some complicated family relationships (don't we all!?) or some friends that don't exactly adore each other. But even if you have 4 or 5 check-in groups, it's easier than trying to make sure you've checked in with everyone often enough on an individual basis.
This isn't to replace your one-on-one connections with people but it does help to make sure your loved ones regularly feel the love when life gets busy.
The Who -
This post was inspired by studies conducted on the importance of maintaining positive relationships and the impact it has on mental health and overall well-being. Research has shown that regular check-ins and interactions with loved ones can significantly improve the quality of those relationships and in turn lead to increased happiness and a sense of belonging. But i'm fully aware that i'm one of those people that means to check in more and isn't all that good at remembering to. The solution, check-in groups and scheduled reminders on my phone! It's not that I need reminding to care, it's that I need reminding to show that I care. So this way, I ensure that I do.
It's easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget to reach out to those who matter most to us. By implementing a check-in system or reminders, we make that all important conscious effort to stay connected and prioritise our relationships. So take the time to schedule those regular check-ins. After all, life is short and our loved ones are precious.
Lou @ Feathered Paths Xx
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