If home is for the homey stuff and work is for the worky stuff, then where do you normally go for the 'you' stuff?
The What -
It’s time to find yourself a third place, somewhere that’s not work or home, where you can unwind, relax, and enjoy some time for yourself. Find a place that you enjoy going to but have no obligation to be and make time to go there regularly. Whether it's a local coffee shop, a nearby park, or the library, finding a third place can be a game-changer in adding a dose of tranquillity and joy to your everyday life.
It needs to be somewhere you don't have responsibilities, other than to yourself in doing whatever you want to do. It can be anywhere, for any length of time and it should be somewhere you can get to fairly regularly. It can't be somewhere that someone else wants you to go or somewhere where someone relies on you or expects anything from you.
The Why -
We all need a sanctuary where we can escape the pressures of work and the demands of home life. Finding a third place allows us to carve out a space for ourselves, where we can recharge, destress, and indulge in activities that bring us good feels and calm. It provides a break from the routine, a breath of fresh air, and a chance to connect with ourselves and our surroundings.
A great piece of advice my husband gave me (thanks hunny!) was when he suggested I need a 'third' place. My first response was 'Huh?' and my second was 'Why?' But it turns out he was really on to something and I think we really do all need a third place. As most of us spend the majority of our lives either at home or at work and both of these may be rewarding places in your life (I do hope so!) But they also come with some pretty heavy responsibilities and expectations.
Obligations and responsibilities are banned in the third place
So you may absolutely love being in your home, around your wonderful family and have a highly rewarding career. But you also need to clean that home, care for your family and work hard to achieve your goals.
So a third place should be somewhere you love to be but you have no obligation to be and no particular responsibilities when you are there. If you absolutely love working out for instance, then your third place could be the gym. But if the gym is somewhere you feel even slightly obligated to be because you feel you should exercise then this isn't your third place.
A third place should be somewhere you can easily get to. So it could be that local coffee shop that makes the best caramel lattes or the park where you walk your dog. Once you've decided on it, you need to add it to your diary to go there regularly. Once a fortnight at least is good but absolutely go as often as you feel you need some 'me time'.
No one can expect you to be there, and when you're there you have no responsibilities to anyone else. Your only commitment at your third place is to yourself. So just sit, breathe, enjoy your latte and watch the world go by.
My third place is the library because I absolutely love to read so I usually go roughly every other week. I love the quiet and tranquillity, I love that no one needs anything from me whilst i'm there and I love the excitement of finding new books and feeling like I'm going home with a gift of wonder and information!
The benefits of the third place
Having this designated third place offers numerous benefits for our well-being. It gives us a sense of belonging, a place where we can be ourselves, unwind, and just be. It fosters creativity, inspiration, and relaxation. Plus it provides a sort of refuge from the hustle and bustle of our daily lives. By finding a third place, we can create a balance between work, home, and our personal time, and that balance makes all the difference!
Whether it’s a quiet corner in a café where you can enjoy a good book, a tranquil spot in the park where you can soak in nature’s beauty, or a cosy nook in the library where you can escape into a different world, a third place offers a sanctuary for the soul. It allows us to recharge our batteries, revitalise our spirits, and find moments of peace and tranquillity in the midst of us all being busy bees.
Here's a bunch of ideas of where your own 'third' place could possibly be -
(Remember to pick somewhere you would love to be and not somewhere you feel in any way you should be going to.)
The beach
A local park
The nail salon/hairdressers
A swimming pool or spa
Your best friend's sofa (As long as it's one of those friendships where you can just show up anytime and chill)
The cinema
A local coffee shop
Your favourite drive-through/ restaurant/ takeaway
Wherever your car takes you
The golf course/tennis courts/gym etc. but only if you really do love doing this simply for the fun of it and not because you feel you 'should go'.
So if you feel yourself torn between home and work responsibilities or that life is feeling a little unbalanced at the moment, make sure you decide on a place and put it regularly in your diary to be there.
We all need time for ourselves and a regular appointment at our very own third place really helps to ensure that happens.
The Who -
Finding a third place is possibly the best piece of advice my husband ever gave me. It was pretty powerful in pulling me out of a dark time in my life. So I really encourage you to embrace the idea of finding a third place for yourself, so that you have a space that nourishes your mind, body, and spirit.
Take a step today towards finding your own third place, a sanctuary that brings you joy, peace, and a sense of belonging. Embrace the power of having a space that is just for you, where you can relax, unwind, and enjoy moments of tranquility amidst the chaos of daily life. We all deserve this and you are no exception.
Lou @ Feathered Paths Xx
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