We've all been there - dealing with that person who knows just how to push all your buttons and drive you up the wall. One minute you're as cool as a cucumber, then that utter plank shows up and suddenly you're spitting feathers.

But there are strategies and techniques to help you maintain your composure and avoid losing your marbles. Let's explore ways to cope with that person who really gets under your skin and empower you to navigate tricky situations with those particularly annoying humans. I want you to feel armed with strategies that will help you maintain peace of mind or at least preserve your sanity in their presence!

Now i'm not suggesting i'm an expert on this but I have picked up a few tips along the way that I hope will be useful to you.

Understanding the Trigger

Let's kick things off by addressing the elephant in the room – what exactly is it about that person that triggers your frustration? Maybe it's their passive-aggressive comments or their habit of always being late. Take a moment to understand your emotional responses and pinpoint the specific triggers that set you off. Understanding the root cause of your frustration is the first step towards mastering your reactions.

I once had a manager who constantly interrupted me during meetings, which used to drive me up the wall. After some introspection, I realised that it wasn't just about the interruptions but how he made me feel dismissed and unheard. Understanding this is key to working out what could be the bigger picture here.

Practising Empathy

Now, here comes the tough part – empathy. It's easy to see that frustrating person as the villain in your story, but what if you tried to see things from their perspective? Put on your empathy cap and try to understand where they're coming from. Maybe they're dealing with personal struggles or insecurities that manifest as challenging behaviour. By practising empathy, you might just be able to find some understanding and compassion even in the most trying moments.

Sometimes people are just being reactive. Sometimes they are jealous and sometimes they are just an absolute plank. They might be totally dim to how annoying they are being but there is usually something that set them off down that path. Figuring it out and having a little empathy can go a long way to their behaviour irritating you a whole lot less.

Also I realise seeing them as an absolute plank isn't an entirely empathetic approach but come on, they drive you nuts. No one gets hurt as long as you don't say it out loud ;)

Setting Boundaries

Boundaries are like invisible lines that define how others can treat you. It's crucial to establish clear boundaries with the person who frustrates you to protect your emotional well-being. Whether it's communicating your limits, asserting your needs, or saying no when necessary, setting boundaries is a form of self-respect and self-care. So don't ever forget how much you deserve that. You have as much right to happiness and tranquility as the next guy/gal.

It's also really difficult for a lot of us to do. So we need to make it as easy as possible to set the boundary and do it at the earliest opportunity before our anger goes into overdrive. It's better to mention to the person in private what's bothering you. Do it in a casual tone and don't make a big deal out of it. You could say something like 'I'm sure it's not intentional but you keep interrupting me in meetings. I think I have some good insight to share with the team, so would you mind just letting me say my peace when I get the opportunity?'

At this point, most people will probably just say 'Oops, yeah, sorry I didn't realise'. Now i'm not saying they will change their behaviour entirely but at least you got to express how you feel and put it on their radar. They might be a little awkward with you for a bit but as long as you weren't rude or aggressive then that's their problem.

If they respond with aggression and defensiveness then you know you might have a bit more of a problem with this one and there might have been some motive in what they were doing. Be aware though, that their motive isn't necessarily about you. Their motive might be they are having a tough time in life and without even realising it, they are trying to level the playing field with others they feel have it easier than they do.

If this feels like the case then you might need to bring in some back up. Make someone else aware of the conversation. Whether that's a manager or HR at work or a trusted friend or family member if it's in your personal life.

In this situation boundaries are even more important. You may need to create distance from that person to avoid it escalating. But you know what? That's ok, a little distance is healthy and you didn't do anything wrong in politely expressing how that person's behaviour impacted you.

Managing Emotions

When that absolute nightmare of a human is driving you batty, it's essential to equip yourself with emotional management tools to (at least try) and stay grounded and composed. So maybe try incorporating mindfulness practices, deep breathing exercises, or positive affirmations to maintain a sense of calm amidst the storm. If you need to walk away, create some distance or have a breather, do it. You don't have to persevere with accepting that person's behaviour if it's affecting your own well-being.

If it is though, try to remember that it takes all sorts to make a world. We don't all think and see things the same way and we can all be annoying. If you can find it within you to do so, try and find some common ground with that person. What are they interested in? How do they tick? Maybe there's a connection there yet to be made and if you can manage your emotions when you're around them, then you might be able to find it.

Communication Strategies

Effective communication is key to addressing issues with the person who frustrates you. But let's be honest, not easy when you are wound up tighter than a girdle.

It's all too tempting to react with passive-aggressive behaviours or just bottle up your emotions. But opt instead for open and honest communication. Simply put it to the person how you feel, as calmly and kindly as you can and then just wait. Leave space for them to answer and be prepared for their response to take you by surprise. If it does, my old faithful comeback is. "I see." Doesn't sound like much I know but that's kind of the point. You are not saying you understand or that you agree or disagree. You are simply telling them you've heard them without your reply sounding too condescending. 

If their response was aggressive (which is rarely the case by the way). Then I suggest simply saying "I see" and letting them carry on speaking. Chances are they will either have a rant or fizzle out. Either way the problem is with them, and you haven't caused it. All you said was "I see". Now they've had their grumble, you now know what their motivation is and how the person is feeling to be able to talk it through and work out a solution.

Active listening, giving that person space to speak and a collaborative approach is a really good way to find common ground for resolution. So try the approach of expressing kindly how you feel and giving that person space to speak. If the response is a difficult one to deal with, just go with "I see" to give yourself space to think and them space to continue on, if they need to. Chances are this honesty from both sides will lead to a resolution.

Seeking Support

You don't have to navigate your way through the crowds of frustrating humans all by yourself. Take advantage of the support that's there from trusted friends, family members, or even a professional counsellor. Make sure it's someone you trust so that you can have a good rant but also be prepared to take on board a different perspective. If you're honest with this person and you trust them, they might just identify something you're doing that's not really helping the situation. This might be hard to hear but the most important thing is finding a resolution, right? So don't take it personally, just take it on board. 

Practising Self-Care

Amidst the turmoil of dealing with that painful person, don't forget to prioritise self-care. Engage in activities that nurture your well-being, whether it's exercising, meditating, pursuing hobbies, or spending quality time with your trusted ones. Self-care is essential for replenishing your emotional reserves and maintaining resilience in the face of adversity.

And you know what, so is anger management! Seriously, punch the pillow, slam the door, book into one of those places that lets you smash stuff up. Do whatever you need to do to manage the rage that absolute fool brings out in you. Don't let it spill out all over your loved ones or get obsessed with it. Exercise, activity and distraction are key to managing your irk.

Reframing Perspectives

Sometimes, a shift in perspective can work wonders in diffusing frustration. Try reframing negative thoughts into positive or neutral interpretations, finding silver linings in challenging situations, and focusing on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. By reframing your perspective, you can cultivate a mindset of optimism and resilience.

If reframing just isn't going to cut it when your blood is boiling and your knickers are well and truly twisted then bring your focus back to you. Not on your currently bent out of shape, proper angry mentality right now - but on the positives of you. Remind yourself of what you are good at and what you are proud of. I'm not suggesting this is a magical cure for anger but it does help to remember that you are far too busy being wonderful and achieving amazing things to get all wound up at that someone who really took the biscuit.

Set Realistic Expectations

Last but not least, set realistic expectations for yourself and the frustrating sod that's winding you up. Acknowledge your own limitations and the fact that we all have flaws. By setting realistic expectations, you free yourself from the burden of unattainable ideals and pave the way for genuine acceptance and understanding. Maybe you are not going to like the company of that person and maybe you've tried to fix it and it still hasn't gotten any better? If that's the case, set the bar a little lower. Create space, know that they have an irking effect on you and be prepared to take some deep breaths when you have to be around them.

You've got this!

So there you have it - when you're faced with that person who knows just how to get on your last nerve, remember that you're not alone in dealing with challenging relationships. By understanding your triggers, practising empathy and setting boundaries you might just be able to navigate those frustrating interactions with a little composure.

Seeking support, reframing negative perspectives and setting realistic expectations are all crucial steps in maintaining your emotional well-being and preserving your sanity amidst the chaos. Remember to take a breather, punch a pillow if you need to, and focus on the positives in your life to stay grounded and resilient.

You deserve peace and understanding, so embrace optimism and don't forget to prioritise your own well-being. Just take a deep breath, you've got this!